


I know something about love

by lightningcanary



Category: Blindspot (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-13
Updated: 2018-03-18
Packaged: 2019-03-30 15:32:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,035
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13954608
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lightningcanary/pseuds/lightningcanary
Summary: Jane notices a few things in the hospital.





	1. Chapter 1

Kurt and Jane are preparing dinner when he gets the call. They had left early to talk to Avery about her dad, even though Patterson didn't think it was a good idea. Jane didn't want to lie to the girl. But when they got to her safe house, instead of telling her they had to talk, they decided to invite her for dinner and tell her then instead.

Kurt gets the call before she arrives.

"Hello?" From the corner of her eye, Jane sees him start to wander around like he usually does when he speaks on the phone. But, when he suddenly stops, she turns to look at him curiously. "She what?" His voice sounds different, concerned. Jane frowns. "Where is she?" _She? Who? Is someone hurt? Is Avery okay?_ "Okay. Call Tasha and Reade too." _Oh. Okay, so that's not about Avery._ "Right. Thanks, Brianna." He ends the call.

"What was that about?" Jane asks as she sees Kurt move around, taking his wallet and his jacket as if he's going out.

"There was an accident in the lab. Patterson's in the hospital."

"What?"

"Something with that test they were doing went wrong. Come on, I'll tell you what I know on the way."

And so he does. While they drive to the hospital, he tells her everything Brianna told him. That they were running those tests and one of them was acting up and then it exploded. That Patterson was checking it out when it happened. That Tasha was there too so the ambulance had been fast. And that Reade had been informed too.

On the car, she also calls Avery to cancel the dinner plans.

When they get there, they find Reade and Tasha in the hallway outside of what they assume is Patterson's room. He's sitting in a chair watching his best friend, who is pacing up and down the hallway, never getting too far from the door that Reade is sitting in front of.

"Hey," Kurt says once they have reached them. Well, reached Reade because Tasha won't stop walking. She looks at them for a few seconds but doesn't say anything. Reade nods at them.

"How is she?" Jane asks.

"We don't know," Reade says, sighing.

"They brought her to the room fifteen minutes ago and the nurse told us we had to wait for the doctor," Tasha mumbles. "They didn't even tell us if she's okay," she adds, sounding frustrated, but knowing her for as long as she does, Jane knows it's mainly concern.

"Tasha. Can you stop pacing?" Kurt asks, a bit annoyed about the nervous movement.

"Good luck with that," Reade mumbles right before Tasha simply says "No."

Jane tries a different approach. "Okay," she says walking towards Tasha. "Hey." She puts a hand on her shoulder and forces her to stop. "Look at me. She's gonna be okay."

Tasha looks at Jane, taking deep breaths. After a few seconds, she looks around, slightly shaking her head, before letting out a shuddering breath and looking at Jane's eyes again. "You don't know that," she whispers.

And in that moment, she looks and sounds so small, so vulnerable. Jane doesn't think she has ever seen her that way. Zapata is usually the strongest, the one that doesn't show emotion. It's so new that it hits Jane and she doesn't know what to do to protect her. Because that's what she has the urge to do. So she wraps her arms around her and brings her close into a hug. "It'll be okay," she says, brushing her hand up and down Tasha's back while the woman tightens the hug.

Fifteen minutes later, the doctor still hasn't appeared. Tasha is now sitting next to Reade, practically asleep on his shoulder. And Jane is hungry. She's hungry but she's also worried and she's not gonna say anything, at least not until that damn doctor appears.

Except two minutes later, Reade's stomach protests, so they decide that Kurt and Jane will go get some dinner for all of them.

When they come back, Reade and Tasha aren't in the hallway anymore. As they reach the room they were waiting in front of before, a man - _the doctor?_ \- gets out of the room, followed by Reade, who sees them and points towards the inside with his head before going back in.

"Was that the doctor? What did he say?" Jane asks while she gives Reade and Zapata their dinner.

"Not much. He said the surgery went well but she had some internal injuries and they don't exactly know when she'll wake up. He also said she was lucky we brought her so fast."

An hour later, they have all eaten their dinner and are sitting around the room.

"We shouldn't have done those tests." Tasha whispers, looking sadly at Patterson.

"I insisted. She said it was dangerous," Reade adds. "It's my fault."

"It's nobody's fault. It was an accident." Jane intervenes.

Before anyone can reply, the machines start beeping. All their gazes shift towards either Patterson or the machines in concern before calling out for help.

A nurse comes in in no time and soon they are taking Patterson back into surgery.

After Reade gets a call, he suggests him and Tasha should go check on a new lead on the case. Jane frowns at Zapata when she agrees. "Are you sure you want to go?"

"Yeah. Waiting here is killing me, I need a distraction. Just... call as soon as you know anything? Please?" And there's that vulnerability again.

"Of course," Jane nods.

A few hours later, they are all back in the room, sitting against some surface that they are using as a pillow. Patterson is back in the room too. They almost lost her in the second surgery and had to put her into a medically induced coma but the doctor said she should be waking up sooner rather than later.

Jane is dozing off when Kurt notices Patterson is waking up. "Hey, guys," he says, nodding towards the girl.

Immediately, they are all by her side. As soon as she's awake, her hand flies to the tube in her mouth. "No, Patterson, hey," Jane tells her, holding her hand down. "You're intubated."

"You're okay. And we're okay." As Kurt talks, Patterson looks around at them. Jane's gaze shift with hers towards Tasha. And that's when she sees it. One of the softest smiles Jane has ever seen in the brunette appears on her lips slowly while she looks at Patterson. And suddenly Jane understands. Because she has seen that look before, she has felt it before, the relief when the person you love comes back to you. She feels a small smile on her own lips as she looks back to the blonde. Her eyes are shining and, in that moment, Jane feels like she's intruding, so she looks away. "There was an accident in the lab."

Patterson looks at him and tries to talk but is stopped by Tasha. "No no no. You can't talk."

"Here, give her this," Reade suggests, holding up a tray and a pen.

They give it to her, and Tasha has to remove the hand that apparently had been holding Patterson's wrist to let her write.

Patterson points them to general Mahoney. Reade and Kurt go back to work to interrogate the guy, while Jane and Tasha stay a bit longer with Patterson.

Tasha has gone get some coffee when Jane tells Patterson she'll be right back. She finds Tasha in front of a coffee machine, fumbling with the buttons. "You should tell her."

Zapata turns around with a little jump at the sound of Jane's voice."Tell who what?" She asks.

"Patterson." Seeing that Tasha's only response is a frown, Jane goes on. "You should tell her how you feel."

"How I... What?" Tasha asks again. 

"Come on, Tash. I've seen the way you look at her."

Zapata continues frowning. "How do I... look at her?" She mumbles, but Jane doesn't hear her until she's finished saying the next sentence.

"You should tell her you like her," she says, before processing what Tasha said. "Wait, you don't know??" 

"I what?!?" Tasha whisper-shouts. "I don't-- what??"

"Uh. I thought you knew..."

"Jane, I don't like Patterson," Tasha says defensively.

"Right. I guess I'm just imagining things..."

"Yeah," Tasha says, not sounding convinced.

They start to go back to Patterson's room, Tasha is a little off, probably thinking about it. Before they reach the door, Jane says "She looks at you the same way, by the way," and she opens the door, leaving a semi-stunned Zapata behind.

Yeah, Jane is sure. Those two are gonna make a pretty epic couple.


	2. it was only just a dream

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm pretty sure this is a mess but I wanted to have it done before tomorrow so...

She wakes up again. To the same fucking trumpet. That's the worst part of the whole loop. That stupid trumpet.

She's so tired of this. It's the fourth time she lives this day and she just wants it to stop. It's not even a good day!

First there's doctor Heisenberg . He flirts with her in the elevator and asks her out, after Tasha gets in.

Then there's Tasha telling her she should go for it, because it's been long enough and she deserves to be happy. And, sure, her "lame excuses" may not be a good reason, but already being in love with someone else seems like a perfectly good one. Of course, she's not gonna say that to _her_. Because she would ask and Patterson doesn't really wanna lie to her. Nor tell her how she feels. And, yeah, she knows this isn't real, but... Yeah, nope.

After that, there's Reade telling them he's engaged and Tasha being silently hurt.

Then, they find a lead on a tattoo. They convince the military to let them do those stupid tests and it explodes in her. And back at the beginning.

Except this time it's different.

When she gets in the elevator it's not Jack in there. It's David. Her David.

He tells her that if she wants to get out of this, she has to let go of the past and "break the loop". So when Reade is gonna tell them he's engaged, she does the first thing that comes to her mind. To _break the loop_."Zapata is in love with you!" And she leaves them to talk. And, sure, it hurts to acknowledge that but it's true, in this world and the real one, so she'll have to deal with it.

But her subconscious has another idea, because the next thing that happens is that David is back and asking "Why would you do that??"

"Do what?" 

"Patterson, don't act dumb on me. I'm in your head, remember?" He tells her.

She states at him for a few seconds. "I don't know what you're talking about," she says, walking away.

"Fine." He follows her, on her way to the lab. "I'm talking about you sacrificing your happiness for everyone else. You deserves some too!"

"I don't have time for this."

Patterson somehow escapes David and bumps into Stuart. Luckily, he's here to talk about the case.

They find out that someone tampered the tests. But it's too late and it explodes again. 

And she's back at the beginning. But now she has a goal. Find out who tampered the tests.

She's fixed on that. She just has to avoid every distraction and get out of the loop. 

And she would do just that if it wasn't because, this time, instead of Jack or David in the elevator, there's... a naked Roman?!

A naked Roman that convinces her that she's attracted to him and, damn, right then and there, she sure as hell is. So, when he starts to lean in, she forgets everything else and lets him.

But then she hears Tasha's voice. She's not there though. The voice comes from... somewhere else. But it sounds loud and clear. And she's talking about the explosion. They think it was an accident. _Fuck._ The tests! She should be investigating!

She gets out of the elevator and is capable of focusing again. And they start to interrogate the only four people that could have done it.

The interrogations lead nowhere, and while Kurt is questioning Jack, Tasha tells Patterson that they started running the tests, although Patterson told them not to.

And, of course, it explodes again.

She's so frustrated. Nothing she does works and she just wants to move on from this day.

The elevator is empty. Well, at least it's not exactly the same anymore... And, luckily, there's no naked Roman.

The doors open and, instead of SIOC, she finds herself in an empty room. The lights are down, although it's enough to see everything. In the middle of the room, there's a single chair. And everything is silent.

She looks around from inside the elevator, curiously but also cautiously. It's creepy. The deafening silence and the emptiness of the room are anything but alluring.

But then a soft music starts playing. A door on the opposite side of the room opens. It's Tasha, entering the room. Patterson feels a small smile grow in her lips as she walks out of the elevator to get closer to the brunette. But then she freezes, her jaw drops open and her eyes go wide as she takes in what Tasha is wearing. Because she didn't expect to see the woman she has a crush on (it's more than a crush, Patterson) wearing a simple blue dress that wraps around her showing part of her stomach and back, and that has an opening that goes up her left leg.

Tasha reaches her. She brushes her middle and index fingers over Patterson's chest as she moves around her until she's behind her. Patterson can't move. And then she feels Tasha's hot breathing over her ear. "Sit down," she whispers.

Patterson gulps. She wants to do it, but her body is not responding. And then the music changes and the sound of a piano plays the notes of the slow version of Crazy in Love. And Tasha puts a hand on her lower back and leads her to the chair, and then with her hands on her shoulders, she makes her sit, right when the singer takes a breath before she starts to sing. 

Patterson is confused, recovering from how flustered she feels, while Tasha slowly walks to be in front of her, facing the other way. Again, her movements stop in sync with the music, as the bass notes come in, and the singer starts to sing the lyrics of the song. And that's when Tasha's hips start to move to the rhythm of the song.

**You got me looking.  
So crazy. My baby.  
I'm not myself, lately.  
I'm foolish. I don't do this.**

Her hips sway left and right with the bass while her hands run up her body to her hair. Patterson is so entranced by it, her cheeks are hot, her heart is pounding.

**I've been playing myself.  
Baby, I don't care.  
Baby, your love's got the best of me.  
You love's got the best of me.**

She turns around and dances towards Patterson, eyes fixed on hers, mouth slightly open. Patterson's breathing gets heavy.

**Baby, your love's got the best of me.  
Baby, you're making a fool of me.  
You got me sprung and I don't care who sees.**

Patterson holds her breath as she gets closer and closer, and leans down until her mouth is next to her ear, hips always in sync with the music.

**Cause baby you got me.  
You got me.**

She whispers the lyrics into Patterson's ear, and the blonde lets go of the air she had been holding.

**You got me.  
You got me.**

For a few seconds everything stops. Tasha leans back and they stare at each other, the brunette's hands set over Patterson's knees as she herself is practically kneeling in front of the chair. But suddenly, the music continues and Tasha opens Patterson's legs in a swift move and she's on her feet, looking down at her and swaying between Patterson's legs, her pupils dilated. Patterson lets out a strangled sound.

**I look and stare so deep on your eyes.  
I touch on you more and more every time.**

She turns around and grinds down on the space between Patterson's legs. Patterson is pretty sure she's gonna combust.

**When you leave I'm begging you not to go.  
Call your name two or three times in a row. **

Tasha continues to grind down on the chair, so close, yet not close enough, until Patterson can't take it anymore and her hands fly to the brunette's hips and brings her down over her lap. Tasha gasps, surprised, but it's quickly followed by a soft moan as she leans her head back. Patterson buries her face in her hair and breathes in. The woman soon is back to moving her hips, and now Patterson can feel every movement she makes.

**Such a funny thing for me to try to explain.  
How I'm feeling and my pride is the one to blame.  
I still don't understand.  
Just how your love can do what no one else can.**

As she continues to dance on her lap, Tasha takes Patterson's hands and moves them up and down her body, she sets the left hand on her inner thigh, accessible thanks to the slit in her dress, and the right up until it's over her underboob. Patterson leans her head on Tasha's in order to muffle the groans she can't contain anymore. Over her, Tasha has her eyes closed and is biting her lip.

And then, as the chorus comes in, she starts talking, never stopping the motion with her hips, and Patterson stops hearing the lyrics.

Tasha turns her head around to talk into her ear, once again. "Is that the formula for arsine gas?"

Patterson looks up. In the wall in front of them there is, indeed, that formula. "Yeah," she says, breathlessly.

"Arsine is in the family of heavy metal poisons, like dense metalloids , known for their toxicity," Tasha whispers in her ears, before biting her lobe. Patterson moans, and she's not sure if it's the biting, the lap dance or the fact that Tasha is talking science into her ear, or all of them mixed, but what she knows is that she's so damn turned on. "And it's detectable in cremains."

And suddenly, she's out of it. She leans back to look at Tasha's eyes. "Those Marines didn't have accidental overdoses. They were poisoned."

Tasha smirks at her.

The next thing she knows is that she's back on the elevator. And it's going up.

The doors open and she gets into action, ready to find out who was the bastard that tampered those tests.

She turns the corner and there's David again, looking at her smugly. "Nice fantasy." 

"Shut up."

"Okay, Patterson. Focus now," he says, as if she had been the one to mention it...

With David's help, she manages to dig into her subconscious and solve the puzzle, break the loop. And it tells her that General Mahoney is guilty.

She thinks it's over, but after they have arrested the guy, she suddenly finds herself in what used to be Borden's workplace.

"Hello Patterson."

_No._

_No no no no no._

_Anyone but him._

She tries to leave, but instead, finds herself sitting in front of him. Damn, she hates this dream.

"How have you been feeling?" He asks.

"I'm talking to you."

"You're clearly angry."

"Yeah, I wonder why..."

"You're holding on to the past," he points out.

"You wormed your way into my heart and tried to kill me. I don't think I can ever be in a relationship again." She hates herself for falling for his bait, but, hey, she needs to let it out.

"David died suddenly. I betrayed you. Perhaps you believe you are fated to lose anyone you love. And that's why you won't give yourself opportunities with new people."

"I'm done talking. I solved the mystery. I broke the loop. It's over."

But then, she's back in the lab and there's an explosion. This time, though, she's directly in the elevator wearing a hospital gown and everything is empty.

She moves through SIOC, calling out for her friends, but there's no one. Until she reaches the lab. There, Sam Pellington is inspecting the damage the explosion did. "Director Pellington? What are you doing here?"

"I guess I'm here to help."

"But it's over. I solved it."

"No. You solved the case. There's more to life than work, Patterson."

"I know!" she says, defensively. "I just... I don't have time for all of that stuff."

"Well, you make time to blame yourself. You blame yourself for my death." He says.

"And mine," says Stuart, appearing next to him.

"Mine too," appears David. "And you still obsess over how you let Borden dupe you."

"He did! I should have never trusted him. I should have-"

"Stop," Stuart interrupts her. "You gotta break out of this. You gotta forgive yourself."

"So that's how I break the loop? You want me to just forget everything?" She asks, sarcastically.

"I want you to be kind to yourself. It's okay to let go." David says.

"I'm just so tired."

"So then, why are you fighting? You can let go. Just let go." He says, offering her his hand.

"No. No, I don't want to," she says before walking out of the lab.

Outside, she bumps into David again. "You always made me chase you."

"David, please."

"Let's get out of here, okay? Let me take you home."

And then she hears beeping, and an alarm, and a voice. "Heart rate's increasing, she's going into V-tach."

She hears the elevator door open. "Going up? We miss you." The three guys are in there, alluring, but she knows what it means. And she's not ready.

"Patterson, don't let my betrayal keep you from the people you love. They're waiting for you. Don't you miss them? Don't you miss David? What are you afraid of? Stop making things more complicated than they need to be. All you have to do is step inside." Borden tries to convince her too.

"No. I'm not ready," she decides.

"Then let yourself be happy, Patterson. You earned it," David adds. "Give it a try."

Patterson sighs. "She doesn't love me."

"You don't know that! Just... think about it," he begs.abd once she has agreed, he says "Bye, Patterson."

"Bye, David."

And, finally, she's out of the loop.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The last chapter is here!

It's been three days since the explosion. It's been two days since Patterson woke up. Two days since they solved the case. Two days since they arrested General Mahoney. It's been two days since Jane suggested that Tasha has feelings for Patterson. And she hasn't been able to think about anything other than Patterson in those two days.

Right now? She's leaning on her hand, elbow over the arm of the hospital chair, looking at Patterson while she sleeps. And hoping her brain had an on and off switch.

Because, here's the thing, she knows she loves Patterson. She adores her. She always has adored her. She would do anything for Patterson and she trusts her more than anyone. She's the one she goes to when she's upset because she knows Patterson will be able to put a smile on her face. She's her best friend, for fuck's sake. Everyone thinks it's Reade, and while, yeah, Reade is one of her best friends, he's not Patterson. He's not the one that one that makes her feel at ease just by being there, or the one that she can talk with about everything, no judgement.

But she never considered the possibility of it being more than friendship. And, now, thinking about it... It makes sense. It makes a lot of sense. Because she thought - thinks? - she was in love with Reade. And she doesn't love Reade half as much as she loves Patterson. Because it explains why she's so... soft with Patterson and only Patterson. Because it explains why she never liked Borden, why she can't stop thinking about it, why she just wants to hug her to make sure she's alright right now.

God, how she wishes her brain would stop... Because she was sure she was in love with Reade. And now... Now she just doesn't know anything anymore.

She's taking a deep breath to sigh, when she hears her phone vibrate. She takes her bag and looks for it.

"Heeey!" Patterson says, a bit groggy from sleeping.

Tasha looks up at her and smiles, feeling something new in her stomach, something she doesn't recall feeling before. _Damn it, Jane._ "Sorry... I didn't wake you, did I?" Tasha worries. 

"No," Patterson says, shifting in the bed to be more comfortable.

Tasha puts the bag down, forgetting about her phone, and when she looks back up she sees a bouquet next to the bed. Was she so distracted by Patterson to notice it before?? "Oooh, who's that from?" She asks, dreading the answer.

"Jack." Yep, that's what she thought. She feels a different thing in her stomach now, but she knows this one, she felt with around Borden once or twice.

She gulps it down and asks "Did you call him?"

"Uh, yeah. We're actually going out tonight," Patterson jokes. Tasha shakes her head, smile softening as she bites her lip. "Do you think this is cute? Maybe I should just cinch it in with a nice belt," she continues, showing off her hospital gown. Tasha plays along and nods, making the OK sign with her hand, like telling her it's the perfect outfit for a date. Patterson softens and leans on her left arm, a little sad smile making its way on her face."Yes, I promise you. I will call him," she adds seriously.

"Good," Tasha whispers, feeling pressure on her chest. She looks down, trying to hide her reaction, and she sees her bag and remembers the cigars she bought for Reade's wedding. "I wanna show you something. It's not as fancy as Jack's flowers, so don't get too excited."

She takes the box out and shows Patterson. "I think the hospital might frown on smoking."

"No, it's for Reade. I'm officially his best man."

Patterson looks at her sadly, "Tash..." she whispers. "Really?" Patterson moves on the bed, leaving enough space for Tasha and pats the bed.

She gets the hint and lies down next to the blonde. "It's the right thing to do," she says slowly, not sure how she really feels about it.

"You should tell him how you feel," Patterson says in a sure tone. Tasha looks at her, feeling a lump in her throat. "I'm serious."

They stare at each other for a few seconds before Tasha gulps and says "What if I don't know how I feel anymore?"

Patterson frowns. "What do you mean?"

The brunette shrugs and shakes her head. "It's... I don't know," she sighs.

After a few seconds of silence, Tasha tries to change the subject. "So... You're attracted to Roman, uh?"

"Oh, God," Patterson groans and hides under her hands. Tasha laughs and is soon joined by Patterson.

As the laughter dies down, Patterson, looking at the door and sounding a bit off, brings the Reade subject back. "Please, just... Think about it. You deserve to be happy."

Tasha shifts her gaze back on the girl and, suddenly, feels a rush of love that fills her lungs. "Fine," she whispers. "But only because you almost died," she hears her voice crack at the thought, but the small smile that appears in Patterson's face is what brings back the urge to hug her. So she leans down on her shoulder and carefully wraps her arm around Patterson's waist. Patterson leans her head over Tasha's. Taking a deep breath, Tasha whispers, "I love you." She moves her other hand to hold Patterson's between their bodies. "I love you so much." She closes her eyes, but then hears a sniff, so she frowns and opens them again. She moves her head off of Patterson's shoulder to look at her. "What's wrong?" she asks, brushing off a tear that ran down Patterson's cheek.

Patterson shakes her head, rubs her hands over her eyes and puts on a smile. Tasha can tell she's upset. "Nothing," she tries, but her voice breaks, so she clears her throat and looks away.

"Patterson," Tasha whispers, much like Patterson did when she told her about being Reade's best man. "Look at me," she adds, putting her hand on Patterson's jaw, to turn her head towards herself. "You know you can tell me anything, right?"

They look at each other for a few seconds. They are so close, Tasha has no idea when they got so close, nor which one of them moved to make it happen. What she does know is that Patterson is the one that leans in and closes the gap. Right before their lips lock, Tasha gasps, not really expecting that to happen. She blinks a few times until she closes her eyes, but before she can kiss Patterson back, the woman's lips are gone.

She opens her eyes and looks at Patterson, mouth slightly open. The blonde's eyes and wide and she's breathing heavily. "I- I'm. I'm sorry, I didn--"

Tasha cuts her off before she can start rambling by putting her hand behind her neck and bringing her back into a deep kiss.

A kiss that, again, is broken by Patterson. This time, though, she stays close. "What... W-wait. And... Reade?" she asks, confused.

Tasha feels herself smiling softly. "I have no idea," she says honestly. "I just know that I love you," she adds, brushing her nose with Patterson's nose. "And I don't know what it means, but I know that I liked that, and that I wanna keep doing it," she finishes, looking down at Patterson's lips.

Patterson's mouth turns up into a grin that makes Tasha's smile grow. And then they are kissing again. And she doesn't know what's gonna happen but she thinks she should probably thank Jane.


End file.
